Taking Sick Days...

OK moms, let's talk sick days for a minute. If you were a working girl before kids, you know you always had sick days. If you felt under the weather, or even a full blown illness, you could call in sick and stay home and rest... in the quiet. 

When we have kids and start homeschooling, however, sick days seem to feel nonexistent. Why is that? Husbands still get sick days. They can call in whenever they need to, and stay home hiding out in the back room feeling lousy. But we moms don't feel like we are able to do that. 

The biggest reason, obviously, is the fact that we have little people running all over the place who don't really care if you feel bad. They still need and want to be fed (EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.), and they have endless energy that needs to be used up. Another reason we don't give ourselves permission to have sick days is that we are totally and completely responsible for our kids' education. If we miss a day, what is going to happen to them? Are they still going to learn everything they need to know and get into college one day? Are they going to be failures in society because you neglected them for one sick day? The thought is just too much to deal with!! (Add a touch of sarcasm as you read that, please...)

The truth is, your kids are not going to fail in life because you are sick one day. Life is going to go on. In fact, they will be so much better off if you JUST ADMIT that you need to rest because you feel bad, instead of trying to muster up strength and ending up a grouchy zombie of a parent who's snapping at everybody in their path. Trust me. I know this from experience. It's OK to say you need to call a sick day. 

Last week, I had just such a day. Lucky for me, I had this little gem on my shelf! I had checked out this Lego Brickumentary from my library the week before, and we hadn't had a chance to sit down and watch it. I really was thinking it would probably be something just to kill some time and give them an excuse to watch TV. But oh my! It was so packed full of great history and science and all kinds of other information! And an hour and a half later, my girls turned off the movie and went to try out some of the cool things they'd seen with their own Legos. Perfection! 

So I wanted to give you a few quick ideas for some creative, EDUCATIONAL things you can keep in your back pocket (or on your shelf) for days that pop up that you just can't make anything happen. Because those days WILL come up. 

1. Keep movies on hand! Any kind of documentary, history, geography video will work! But please, make it a fun, kid-friendly one! Something that they will actually enjoy! Your local library is a wealth of resources! Look for something like Drive Thru History or Liberty's Kids. 

2. Pull out board games! We all have them stashed in a cabinet somewhere, and most of us rarely pull them out. So when you DO pull out the board games, everybody is excited about them. It has the potential of keeping your kids busy for hours! Plus, it's a great family bonding time for your kids. 

3. Check out Youtube! Think about the things your kids are interested in, and then let them look up Youtube videos all day on that subject. If they don't have anything in particular they want to learn about, you can check out something like Mr. Demaio, who has a ton of cool videos that are all educational! My girls have binge watched Youtube videos of Appalachia's Homestead with Patara, and learned a TON about homesteading, farming, and chickens! 

4. Go to your library often and keep a great selection of books at your house! I have a shelf dedicated to our library books (so they don't get lost and cause me to have to pay ANOTHER FINE!). If I just can't get anything together, I send my kids to the library shelf to choose one of the great books we've got waiting. We always have a selection of history, geography, science, and just fun reading books. Just know, these are fun, engaging books, and not just rote facts. That is so boring! Get fun books that will cause them to WANT to read!

Those are a few ideas to get you going. But there are lots more to pull from if your kids get tired of those things. School does not have to be a wash just because you need a break day. And you shouldn't have to pull it together to teach your kids if you're sick. You can feel good knowing your kids are still doing something educational, so you aren't a failure of a mom. And you can go take some meds and go to bed! (Or you might enjoy propping up on the couch watching that movie with them!)

Paleo Coconut Flour Waffles

It's Friday night. My two oldest have gone to hang out with friends, because now they both have JOBS and can pay for eating out on their own, and because they can both drive themselves - sadness and happiness all at the same time. Hubby is on call this week, and he ended up heading to work this evening. Supper has not been on my radar AT ALL today. Baby girl and I spent most of the day in town just hanging out together and grocery shopping. So tonight, with everybody gone different directions and me being NOT in the mood to cook anything, I pulled out our Friday night favorite - WAFFLES! They are quick. They are easy. They are delicious. And there is very little clean-up - HOORAY! 

~Now, I need to make a disclaimer here. Since I last posted about food (which was several years ago), my diet has changed exponentially. As in, you wouldn't even believe some of the crazy healthy things I now eat that I never would have considered before. And I don't really bake bread anymore, because I am completely gluten-free. I am also grain-free and dairy-free, and I limit the amount of nuts I consume. I pretty much follow a Paleo diet now. That said, if you are used to traditional glutenous foods, you may find it a little different at first. But these waffles that I'm about to show you are PHENOMENAL! Seriously! ~Disclaimer ended now....

I have been making waffles on Friday nights for the past several weeks, and I LOVE IT! It has become something to look forward to. The best part about waffles (besides the taste!) is that it can serve as kinda the base for anything you want to layer on top. Our favorites are fruit with honey or peanut butter with honey. (Honey is a must! Or syrup, I suppose, if you just don't love honey.) 

Start with a great recipe... like this one! 

Seriously, all you do is throw everything into your blender and mix it up. Easy peasy. And only one container to dirty up. 

Pour it into your waffle iron in batches.

And JUST LOOK at how lovely those things turned out! You would never realize they were made with coconut flour! 

I let the girls put whatever toppings they wanted on each of their waffles. Happy girls!

The weekends are for fun and relaxing. Sometimes I cook a lot on the weekends to get ahead for the next week, but I much prefer to take it easy and cook light or not at all. You are not a bad mom if you feed your kids waffles for supper... or cereal or toast or sandwiches or whatever. And yes, Friday night is almost over now. But let me just assure you, Saturday night waffle night is every bit as awesome as Friday night waffle night. So plan a quick, easy, and fun meal for your family this weekend. You will come out looking like the mom-superhero that you are! 

The Gift of Alone Time

Fall in the Deep South is not really much different than the summer. We still have mosquitoes, temps in the upper 80's or more, flip flops, tank tops, gardens that are still producing, and a few of our friends are even still swimming. It makes me very sad how much I still have to run my air conditioner, when I really long to open my windows and doors and let in the fresh air! But alas, we run the AC or we melt.

But a few days ago, the weather was actually nice! Not really fall weather, per se, but still, it was pleasant to be outside. So hubby pulled out the hammock and strung it between two trees. He loves a good hammock, so he, of course, was the first one to be in it. But as the day went on, a few other kids made their way out there to enjoy the relaxing day.

I was inside doing something, can't remember what (probably having coffee...), when I happened to look out my front window. We had all been inside for awhile, and I really didn't realize anyone was still out in the hammock! (Bad mom, I know.) When I looked outside, I saw the sweetest feet and legs just swinging away in that thing. My baby girl had gone outside with her "ideas" notebook and pen and was taking her turn.

Now, I have to tell you, my first thought was, "Oh no, she's all alone! I need to go take my coffee (or whatever it was I was doing) outside to go be with her!" But in that split second, another thought came in my head. "Why in the world would I want to interrupt that? What exactly is wrong with her being alone?" The answer: ummmm, absolutely nothing!

Having some time to ourselves these days is rare. Especially for kids! As parents, we think we need to entertain them every second of every day. We must fill all their waking moments with things that will create lasting memories for them. We buy into the belief that, if we aren't crazy busy doing things with our kids, we somehow aren't good parents. So we run from one activity to the next, never slowing down to just BE.

The problem with that is that we NEED alone time! OK, yes, we are created for community and need friends and people. True. But on occasion, it's OK to just be still and quiet and alone. It's in those times that we can really think, feel, understand ourselves. If we never allow ourselves time apart from others, how will we ever be able to dream and create and imagine? When we always are with a crowd, or even just one other person, we are always hearing someone else's opinion on life and things and whatever. But when we have time all by ourselves, we can take a few minutes to really process what WE think about something, what WE want out of life, what WE dream up.

So I took a step back. And I left her all by herself, alone. She had her pen and her notebook, and that girl was swinging up a storm and daydreaming and creating things in her head. And why in the world would I interrupt that?

Time alone is a gift. Don't rob your children of that time by scheduling every minute of every day for them. And don't let someone rob YOU of time alone. Because it's in those moments you get fresh perspective on life. And then you are ready to jump back in and tackle the world!

Who's in Your Circle?

Yesterday was co-op day. It's kind of weird, because we've had co-op on Wednesdays for so many years. When the change to Tuesday was made for this year, it was GREAT! Like, I can't even tell you how much I love having co-op on a day other than church day! But it does throw my week for a loop, as I now am always feeling like I'm off by a day. But whatever.

I suppose I have just been overly sentimental lately thinking about this whole co-op thing, since my oldest is now graduated. (That fact also is weird, because I'm not usually an overly sentimental, cry-y kind of person. But lately, oh my geeze Louise, it's been crazy bad!)

We started participating in co-op about 7 or 8 years ago. Things were so very different. I had a toddler, a 4 year old, and 2 kiddos who wanted some friends. It was a struggle to get there each week, I'm not gonna lie. Baby girl ALWAYS missed her nap, which made the day SO. VERY. LONG. I had health issues that I didn't even realize at the time, but those issues made me exhausted every co-op day nonetheless. We stuck it out for 2 years, and then I needed a BREAK!

After those 2 years, we started back to co-op and have been going ever since. It's gotten so much better in terms of enjoyment! Baby girl doesn't need a nap anymore (though I still do!). Everybody dresses themselves and can find their own shoes - HAPPY DAY! I no longer need to pack a diaper bag or even their lunches, because they pack their own! Everyone can find their own classrooms, which means I only need to be responsible for me. The fact that I don't have to think ahead for 4 other tiny people has been huge! One of my kids doesn't even go to co-op anymore because of being in college, and another drives himself so he can go to work afterwards.

Things change. Our kids grow up. They don't need us to do everything for them anymore. Which is a blessing, but also kinda sad at the same time. The days, at the time, seem to last FOREVER, but the years truly are very short. (Insert sappy moment - ENJOY YOUR KIDS, PEOPLE! Blah, blah, blah...)

Some things I have found comforting, though, are the things that haven't changed at co-op. The mom friends that I made 8 years ago (actually before that...) are still there. I get to see the same sweet faces that I've seen every week for years. Some of these moms started homeschooling at the same time as I, and we are now in the process of graduating kids together. We've been through A LOT in all our homeschooling years! And I love that, what we started together, we are finishing together. They are my community of friends.

There have been many moms who God has allowed to come into my life and then move on again a few years later. Some of them are still very dear friends who I love. And there are new ones who have recently come into my circle of friends that I feel so blessed to know. But I have been especially thankful for the ones God has allowed to be with me for our entire homeschooling journey.

Sometimes it's hard to make mom friends. We get busy with our kids, our house, our stuff. Sometimes the moms we meet have kids different ages from ours, so things just don't click right away. Some of us crazy homeschooling families live way out in the country away from other homeschool people (ahem, that would be us...), so it's really hard to see friends. But I want to encourage you in this... YOU NEED FRIENDS! God created us for community. We were made to need people. And if you plan to be on this homeschool journey for any length of time, you need to surround yourself with a few other moms who will be there for you, talk you through some tough times, pray with you, celebrate the wins with you, and just walk with you through this journey. I am so very, very thankful for the friends God has placed in my life.

How do you find time for friends? Who are the people in your circle? I'd love to hear about them!

They Still Need You, Mama

Lately, I have been realizing more and more the fact that my job as a mom doesn't end just because my kids get bigger. After Britches graduated this past May, I felt lost, like I had nothing to do anymore for her. OK, yes, I still had three others to take care of. But it felt like I wasn't needed anymore for her. I am learning that thinking is so very far from the truth.

She called me today from school. I freak out every time she calls me, because I automatically assume something is wrong or she had a wreck or something. So today, I purposely did NOT freak out. I calmly answered the phone... and something was wrong. SEE! I should have freaked out! It really wasn't that big of a deal. She had locked her keys in her van and wanted to see if I was coming to town. She needed to be at work at 3:00, and it was already almost 2:00. I told her I'd be there in about 30 minutes, and hung up the phone and headed that way. 

When I got there, we both had a good laugh, she promised never to do that again, I told her if she did I'd totally laugh even harder at her, and all was good. She headed to work, and I headed home. 

But it got me thinking. I am so thankful she decided to stay in town to go to college. I had the chance to come rescue her today. I was able to stop what I was doing and show her, in a very real way, that she is very important. She still needed me. And that made my mama heart very happy.

Most of the time these days, she is off doing her thing - studying, working, serving at church, going to her college small group at church. I see her in passing. Things are very different from just a few months ago, and certainly very different from a few years ago. She buys her own food now, pumps her own gas, makes her own schedule, pays for her own schooling - she is very independent. But she still needs her mama. Every day. Even if it's just to have mama at home when she gets here to know that part of life hasn't changed. 

Mama, don't buy the lie that you aren't important in your kids' lives. Don't believe for a minute that they don't need you or want you. Don't ever think that they will get to some magical age that they are grown and can do everything on their own and will leave you behind. Yes, the goal in raising our kids is for them to be independent contributors to society. But even in being a grown up, they will always need their mama. 

You are important. You are needed. You are wanted. 

So What Happened Anyway?

So if you saw my post from yesterday, you might be wondering, "What happened anyway that made you quit blogging for six years?" That is a very easy, and very hard, question to answer.

God has such a way of humbling us.

Back somewhere around 2009, I guess, we started doing children's ministry for the church we were attending. Things were going great. Kids were coming. We were having fun. Everybody was learning about Jesus. It was good.

It was around that same time that I started this blog. Really, it was started as a way for me to have a little sanity. I was homeschooling two kids, had a toddler underfoot, and a crying baby. I needed somewhere to put some adult thoughts on paper, so to speak. It became an outlet for me to escape from the crazy for just a few minutes.

As time went on, the blog began to revolve around our homeschooling journey, which made it super fun for me. I loved doing school with my kids and then posting pics and writing about our day.

More people started reading my blog. I had people asking me questions about homeschooling. And as our children's ministry grew, people started asking me about ministry, too. It was exciting, because it made me feel like I knew something and could share that with others!

I signed up for a mentoring program with a children's ministry coach, which meant now I knew even more. I had a few articles published in a couple of different magazines, so that meant my writing was great, of course. I signed up to do blog reviews for a publisher whose material I was using, and it made me feel like I was needed, wanted, able to offer help to others. I had several other opportunities to help and share with others, and that only served to fuel my desire to be "more". More than just a mommy. More than just a stay-at-home mom. More than.

Let me just pause here for a minute. If you have ever heard the story of Job in the Bible, you know how he suffered. God allowed everything in his whole world to be taken from him, and then God watched to see how Job would respond. Would he continue to praise God and serve Him? Or would Job crumble under the weight of the losses and turn away from God? In the end, of course, Job stayed faithful and was rewarded with God giving him back more than he lost in the first place. He was faithful, so God rewarded. Don't forget that.

Sometimes God gives us suffering to see what we're made of, to see if we will stay true to Him. And sometimes God gives us abundant blessing and growing success to see the same. He wants to see how we will respond to the success, if we'll stay true to Him, if we will continue to seek and serve Him. And this was the case with me.

As life moved forward and things were beginning to succeed and grow in my blog and homeschooling and ministry, I began to think, "Look how good I'm doing!" Now don't get me wrong. It is fine and good to be proud of what we have accomplished. But when we begin to think that WE did the thing, and when we quit seeking God and His plan and blessing, that becomes a BIG problem. I started seeking out ways that I thought would get my name out there. Build a platform. Make myself look better than maybe I actually was. And do you know what happened? God took His hand of blessing completely off of every single thing I was doing.

As long as I was seeking and following Him, God blessed the things. But when I stepped outside of what God had planned, because I was seeking to be "more than" and looking for recognition from the world, God stepped back and just let me have it all. No, He didn't actually take any of it away. He let me have all of the things... on my own.

There is no more solitary, scary, desolate place that apart from God and His blessing. Please do not misunderstand what I'm saying. I was and am still a Christian who deeply loves Jesus. But we can still be a born again Christian and be far from God. It's in those times that He gently, but oh so painfully, calls us back to Himself. Because He loves us. And He desires to be with us. To lead us and guide us. And that is where I found myself.

God slowly began to show me that I was nothing apart from Him. Ministry was constantly a struggle. I couldn't seem to put two good thoughts together for my blog. Nobody wanted my articles. My marriage was hanging on by a thread. And through all the failure (which directly followed that pride), I began to see that I really had nothing of my own to give. I had nothing else to say. No advice to give. No great homeschooling tips. No help for others on growing a children's ministry. Nothing. I had nothing.

That was one of the saddest, lowest times in my life. I've always wanted to be more. And God broke me down to nothing. But praise God, He NEVER leaves us there, and He NEVER wastes a hurt! It took years - YEARS - for Him to rebuild my broken spirit. It took many, many tears and heartache for God to teach me the things I was missing. Here's what I learned.

~ I don't have to be somebody great in this life. I can just be myself. And that's enough.

~ Being a mommy IS an important thing! I don't have to go seeking elsewhere to find very important things to do. I can just be a good mom and love my kids.

~ Taking care of my husband is a very worthy thing. Loving him and tending to the things he needs (like clean clothes and breakfast before work) are very important.

~ Following God and staying close to Him under His umbrella of grace and blessing are the only things that matter. Because when I follow Him closely, His blessings abound. But when I step out on my own and run ahead of what He tells me to do, He steps back and lets me go... without His hand of blessing. I want to be blessed.

So it's taken me a really long time to get back to writing. About a year ago, with my hubby's constant prodding, I decided to start writing a book. I was scared to death to start it. Because I wanted to make absolutely sure it was God's timing, and I wasn't going to just be wasting my time trying to do something on my own. But I felt like maybe, just maybe, God was trying to speak to me through my husband and tell me, "It's OK. You can write again. You do have something to say." So I started writing.

It took almost a year, but my son (who is also my illustrator) and I have finished our book. We're still working through the self-publishing steps, which is proving to be difficult. But we're close. And I have found I still love writing.

I'm tossing around another book idea, but I haven't committed to it yet. I want more confirmation from God that this is the right direction. But I felt like He was telling me it was OK to pick up writing again on the blog. This has always been my happy place. It didn't start out as a place for others. It was just for me. Just for getting my thoughts out. And that's what I want it to be again. If this place happens to bless you, I'm so happy for that! But really, if nobody ever reads this blog again, it is still good. It's still a place I can just enjoy writing for the fun of writing.

My initial thoughts are to play catch up on some of the cool things we've been doing and the things we've learned through our homeschool journey. But those are just my plans. We shall see which direction God points.

Until next time,
Nicole

Welcome Back

Hello there!

It's been almost six years since my last post on this blog. Wow! That is a really long time. There's a good chance most of you who used to follow this blog are no longer here, and that's OK. Maybe you'll come back. Maybe not. So much has changed in six years. Where in the world do I even begin?

Well, for starters, Britches has GRADUATED! I'm not even sure how that happened. It seemed like homeschooling her would never end. But I blinked and she was grown. Now, she's enrolled at the university in our town. I'm very happy about the fact that she has chosen to stay home for at least this first year, because I would be more of a basket-case-wreck-of-a-person than I already am over all this.

And Little Man will be graduating this year! Again, not sure how that happened. Oh right, I blinked. He's planning on going to the same university as his sister, which makes me happy. The two of them have been inseparable since birth, so I kinda figured he would choose to go wherever she went.

Little Sister is a pre-teen who loves all things music, piano, juggling, and chickens. We have somewhere around 30 chickens for her as pets, and she hugs each one every day and tells them all goodnight before locking them up each evening.

And Baby Girl is about to hit double digits! She is spunky and smart and happy, and I am so glad she's ours!

We are still homeschooling the 3 that are still here. A lot has changed in our approach to school, because my children preferred a different way of teaching. And that's OK. We are still extremely laid back in our delight directed approach. But we do use a more independent study approach now, rather than schooling everyone together with the same unit study and lapbooks. Change can be good.

Brient and I, by the grace of God, will have made it to 21 years of marriage this December. That in itself is a miracle. Marriage is hard, people! It's not for the faint of heart. You have to really dig deep and work at it. They don't bother to tell you all of that at the beginning, probably because nobody would ever get married if they knew how dang hard it actually is. But it is so worth it!

A big thing that's changed is that we are no longer in ministry. That's crazy, because I really thought we'd be working with kids forever. A lot of things brought us to that point, and really, I'm so glad we finally stepped down for good. I didn't realize how absolutely exhausting ministry is, and it was really taking a toll on my marriage, my kids, our homeschooling - pretty much everything. Life is so much slower and more peaceful now.

I have learned a few things in the past six years, too. I've learned that...

~ the only good in me is from God, and when I try to do ANYTHING apart from Him, it is crap and fails.

~ we shouldn't do things because we want recognition, but because we love doing that thing and just want the joy that thing brings.

~ pride truly does go before a GREAT FALL. And I learned that, when we are honestly seeking to follow God, He will use that fall for His good to bring about the humility that He so desires in our lives.

~ nothing in this life stays the same. Not jobs or houses, family or schedules, church or friends, health or the lack of - nothing. It's all temporary.

If you've stuck with me for this long in this post, thanks! Maybe we'll talk again in a day or so. But if it's just me on here, that's OK, too. Because I just need to write. Even if nobody is listening. Or if everybody is listening. I just need to write.